So many people have told me that happiness comes from WITHIN us, and not from outside. But let me tell you I have been haunted by this statement (actually million dollar prophecy by some, but true) till until recently. I would see no logic in it.
I had struggled to understand that how does one find it from inside. But is it not actually so correct that we all look for happiness from outside us, from the world around. To name a few examples;
“ if I get slim I’ll be happy”,
“ if I earn more I’ll be happy” ,
“ If I get that car I’ll be happy”,
“ If I get that house I will be happy”,
“ If I get the promotion I will be happy”,
“ If I am able to go for vacations at an international destination I will be happy”
And the list goes on, with our desires switching with passing time.
All that means we are actually dependent on something externally (not in our control) to happen to make us happy.
And this is still not the end; because once we achieve what we wanted to we are happy only for a short time. Soon we very conveniently start looking for another source of happiness. So there is another target to achieve, with again postponement of happiness. This cycle goes on relentlessly for our entire lives with onus of our happiness shifting from one thing to another till its too late. And that’s what some learned persons would say is ‘LIFE” all about.
And if presented like this, it sounds real unfair that we have to struggle for our share of happiness thus.
And so everybody says look for happiness within. Worst yet, nobody tells how to do it. Be satisfied with what you have, but it’s easily said than done. Where the hell should I look for happiness within; in my mind or heart or where?
So on a path of self-learning, certain realizations dawned on me. Below I share some methods that have personally helped me in evolving into a better-satisfied person, though I am thousand miles away from that perfect state of mind. These definitely helped me to raise my feeling of self worth, and rise to a level of good vibrations internally.
1.First, mother of all unhappiness is “COMPARISON WITH OTHERS”. There is more than one way here. One, we are more interested about what’s happening to another person than what’s going on with us: that’s actually trespassing, and such a waste of our precious time, which could have been usefully spent in our own progress, and furthering our knowledge. We should only dedicate our time and actions for betterment of our lives and of our near and dear ones. Another angle is feeling less blessed than others: jealous of our batchmates, our classmates, our neighbours, our colleagues…and there is no end to this. Aim for Up but keep looking behind also. That is, we should appreciate and be inspired by those who have achieved more than us. And at the same time feel gratitude for having achieved so much more than those who prospered less than us. Comparison can be such an equalizer. If we compare ourselves to both, those who are ahead and those who are behind us; we will learn to appreciate what we have been bestowed with, and a feeling of happiness would creep in.
2. If the above process is difficult to do (and believe me it can be very challenging), then we should look around us, so many people without a body part, visit an orphanage- it would be actually like a splash of cold water. Notice a poor man shivering in cold in harsh winters, and you will be feeling actually blessed to have a warm sweater. And a silent thanks to almighty would come from within.
3. We should make it a habit of doing something nice to others daily. It may be in the form a compliment to a colleague, enquiring about subordinate’s family, doing something special for your spouse, bringing the most wanted gift for your kids, or paying your parents a surprise visit. Believe me the joy on their faces would be enough to fill you with self worth and peace. And aren’t these two words synonym with happiness!
4. Another most important thing is to do the job we have been assigned- irrespective whether we are employer or employee, sincerely and to the best of our abilities. This gives one a feeling of achievement- another step towards happiness.
5. Make it possible to have a roadmap for your future. If not for entire life, then may be for next few months. Then you will know the direction in which you are moving. It will give you some control over things, and it would not be a state where things are happening randomly and aimlessly, so, surprising you.
6. We should define a goal, and then outline the process we would follow to achieve that particular goal. We should make the process in stepwise form, and then start sticking to finishing the steps one by one. The feeling of successfully completing a step would give an enormous boost to our confidence. We should eventually try to fall in love with the Process of achieving the goal, and not the Goal, as it is bound to change with time.
7. We should never try doing a thing which our conscious does not allow; which is either uncomfortable, unethical or difficult or whatever which makes us lose our peace of mind and of course our SLEEP!
These processes are simple to adhere to, but will take regular practice and persistence to make them your true nature. But once done, one need never look towards external things for own contentment.
